Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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