you have to choose: penises or morals?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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