That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
