I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
