I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
