ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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