They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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