whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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