the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
