I need help removing her.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
