3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
