i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
