Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize