did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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