I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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