I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
