We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
