Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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