It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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