either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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