Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
