Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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