living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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