I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
