gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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