Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
