he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
