As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
