so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
