this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
