Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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