so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
