I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
