WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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