I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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