I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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