So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
