It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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