so that wasnt chicken after all
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
