How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i was born a porn star she said
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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