Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Randomize
