So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
