Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
