I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
