Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I looked at my own cervix.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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