I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
