Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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