SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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