all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
