Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize