nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
