do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
