god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i barfeds in our rink
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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