I want to have your abortion
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
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