you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think my moral compass just broke
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