what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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