hotel room ftw
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
