Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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