so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We got so high we made milksteak
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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